I was asked recently how is the weather in your soul? Today my answer would be stormy. Here’s why.
Death hadn’t visited my door in a while. As usual, he was impeccably attired in what looked ot be a tailored Italian suit. He arrived and said with a jovial smirk, “So,, I guess you’ve heard the news about your old acquaintance, the husband of an admired church leader.” My sad demeanor responded, but I nodded. I was struggling to get my mind wrapped around an upcoming Bible Study and a series of meetings.
Death swayed to some unheard music.” Ah, those tasks are distractions, and you know it. You took your mother’s death so well, but I knew this one would get to you. You just hate it when a life is threatened inexplicably” Death added,”So, tell me again about how your God is in support of life, about the comfort God provides. You know he is as good as mine, don't you?”
Yes, celebrate, I said. I am hearing the whisper of the tempter very clearly right now.I hear very clearly, what’s the use in the presence of a God when I don;t want the accident to happen in the first place. I find comfort a cold comfort in the face of tragedy.Heaven itself does not assuageour pain, our desire to be with them, not in memory, not in spirit, but here and now in this place, in this time.
I replied, it sounds as if you want to go another round on the theodicy question, on god and human suffering. OK. I do not believe that God wills the death of anyone. I do believe that some wonderful healings do occur, but I find them unfathomable as to how and when they may occur I grant that random acts of violence occur, and that the chancey nature of our days act as a threat to the order of creation. The seeming randomness of healings and recovery haunts me as deeply as whne the expected march toward our end occurs.
I do not think that God is sending a message of punishment for some real or imagined sins of a good man. i do not believe God is trying to use this tragedy as a wake up call nor as an example.. I acknowledge that you are the God of death itself.
I will not promise a comfort that I myself do not feel. I do know what a burden it is to admit that a life nees to be released to you, Mr. Death,as e.e. cummings called you.
When Jesus faced suffering, he did not blame people for their troubles as if they deserved them. Instead, he offered healing. Recall that Jesus would say that the rain falls on the just and unjust alike. Very rarely do the patterns of human life get drastically altered. Car crashes often cause major injuries.Three times, when he faced you at your victories, he raised people from the dead. yes, you would claim them again. Remember how you gloated when Jesus died.
You did not get to reclaim that life. In my view, we are all too precious in the sight of God to be permitted to go through everlasting punishment or even annihilation.Jesus faced you head on. then God gave us a different angle. Sunset is not ultimate. We are people fo the dawn. Light dispels your darkness.
So we squint for a sign of light in deep darkness. Somehow, as this sunday’s reading (I Cor. 1:18-25) tells us, God is fully present in the darkness, the silence, the gloom, as well as the light.That wintry spirituality for me has more meat to it than the sunshiney childish dneial of whistling the dark away. Right now, the virtue i require is courage, to be able to face Mr. Death and face and fight the pain of the darkness.
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