When I was a child, I heard someone say that a pessimist keeps expectations low, so they are never disappointed. I could not grasp why people then said it was not good to be a pessimist.Part of the point against it is a magical sense that we draw negative experiences to us like a magnet that attracts such experiences. Part of it may be the fear of the self-fulfilling prophecy, so pessimistic attitudes will help create or set up a condition for failure or disappointment.
Our Old Testament reading for Sunday deals with expectations. At First Presbyterian, we follow a selection of common readings from the bible on Sundays called the Revised Common Lectionary. One of the reasons I like it is that we read things often forgotten in Scripture. for instance, this Sunday we read from the small collection of Haggai, after the destruction of the temple and the return of some of the exiles and life under Persian domination.
One of the marks of maturity could be in managing expectations. Set them too high or too low, and they can cause real problems. Set them too low and we settle for the barest level of performance. Some evidenc eindicates that the low levels of educational expectations we hold for both competence or mastery of subject matter of what President bush called ‘the soft bigotry of low expectations” for minority students does have an impact on achievement.
Why do we get disappointed after achieving something? It seems that our expectations are higher than we thought. Why do we get disappointed in relationships at times. We expect more out of the partner, or more out of the relationship itself than it may be possible for a limited human being, or two human beings to offer.Take initiative and one can be seen as pushy or controlling. Take a more mutual approach and one is seen as too passive or distant. Indeed, the series of relationship books by lerner describe relationships as a dance of distance and closeness that start to form the expectations within a relationship. the trouble comes when the steps get out of whack and pursuit becomes too aggressive or distance becomes a cut-off.
I wonder if we rise to the level of expectations if those are out of reach? Sometimes not, as the story of the musical Annie goes, most folks thought the high notes were too much for young singers, but now many young singers can hit the note required. when an athletic mark, such as the four minute mile falls, then a series of folks seem to break the old barrier in due course.
We accord expectations too much power. In the stock market, we have raised expectations to a new form of gambling. a stock price goes up or down depending if its best guess about quarterly reports get met or not. We play a similar game in primary elections for president, where candidates try to spin the election results by comparing the final vote to their predicted vote before hand. if a popular candidate wins but does less well than predicted, they lose stature, and a losing candidate may gain stature if they exceed modest expectations.
As I reflect on expectations, I suppose I fear that they prevent us from appreciating or enjoying a moment for itself. It seems that expectation becomes a pretext for being judgmental.Surely god has reasonable expectations about our sorry histories and limited capacities. I do not see God as a blind optimist, but God’s vision is one of hope, a serene confidence that we can overcome our weakness and live into the aspirations god holds for us all to live out our creation in God’s image and likeness.
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