Mother's Day 2102 column

I know Mother’s Day has a lot of force to it, when I notice the card aisle at the store. They are packed, and anxious faces peer through card after card, as they hope to find the perfect one. Father’s Day just does not carry the emotional freight of Mother’s Day. I won’t even begin to compare the presents given on Mother’s Day in comparison to the fashion detritus that Dads receive in a month. Even with the changes in social roles in the last generation, it seems that mothers are the emotional centers of the household. Contemporary mothers often carry two full-time roles, a career outside the home and managing a household. All of that effort takes its toll. Women have trouble sleeping because a list of undone tasks nags at them, even as they morph into the dread “honey-do” list. They feel especially unappreciated and unrecognized for countless acts of kindness and care. Erma Bombeck said that in a mother judgment turns into compassion and understanding. So a lot of weight gets placed on Mother’s Day. We know a card, flowers, and a gift cannot adequately reflect a bow to their import, but the pressure is on. I was speaking with a group of women recently and they regarded Mother’s Day with a good deal of self-protection. If they did not have high expectations of the day, they would not be so disappointed. They had the wistful look of folks who had received blenders when they hoped for a cruise. When my mother would be dissatisfied with her presents yet again, I would tell her a story of a man who took his mother to an elegant supper for Mother’s day. to top it off, he wore one of the hideous ties she had gotten him for his birthday. Immediately, she looks at him and sniffs, “so what’s wrong? You didn’t like the other one?” As a spiritual practice, I would urge two for Mother’s Day. Forgiveness is one. Not even mothers are perfect. The demands on them are coupled with incredible shared expectations of perfection. Then we walk through life resentful for hurts and wrongs, real or imagined, minor or major. Second, I urge the practice of gratitude. Because the expectations are so entrenched, the vast amount of effort and emotional wear and tear on mothers has become part of the emotional and mental landscape. Write out some specific acts for which you are grateful write out some specific virtues you mother has demonstrated. Washington Irving wrote: “A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” Perhaps only Christmas prompts such a surge of memory as does this holiday. Consider making a timeline of events and attach a memory to them. Perhaps you can illustrate them with a photo like the new timeline on facebook. Memory is notoriously unstable. Reflect on those memories and see if you can deepen them by coming at them from a different standpoint than you usually do. Cherish memory as an uncommon gift. I watch our own mother slide into dementia, and her very self faded. I hope and pray that you will not only cherish memories on Mother’s Day but also make some good memories to store away for the future. May this year provide a template for wonderful memories yet to be made.

notes I John 5:1-6

1) We start with a new position/status/relationship, even source. Believers are born of God. right away he goes further to have us consider the relationships we have with this new family. After all, this letter is written within a storm of conflict. 2) Again, we are in this welter of loving god and neighbor. My generation tends to dislike the word obedience, with its power dimensions. Where are you on it? 3)John anticipates this and notes the commandments are not burdensome, like the yoke of Christ. Is this accurate though? 4) Notice the non-violent nike (victory) our faith conquers is victorious over the world. I assume the world here is as much a mindset as a physical reality. 5) That victory gives even the downtrodden much heart. 6) We get into a deep Trinitarian move again with the Spirit and the water and blood. this could be a good time to examine our sacraments. I came from a Catholic background, and it stuns me how poorly we work with 2 sacraments, let alone. 7) Note that water and blood poured out from the side of Jesus at the cross in the gospel of John.

Friendship column on May 4

n 1933 Church Women United started celebrating a May Friendship Day. It promotes ‘creative and healing relationships.” I find it an excellent idea. Recently, I officiated at a funeral where a gentleman recalled a friendship that spanned an adult lifetime. We don’t give the value of friendship its due, maybe especially in this facebook age of “friending” and “de-friending” bare acquaintances. I speak of the family as the crucible of our lives. Surely friendship deserves a similar designation. Other than the binding nature of inheritance, what we say of family often applies to friendship. Some of our most cherished memories are with friends. Big events, such as going on a crusie or a trip, often seem more meaningful when celebrated with good friends. Indeed, so many important memories are tied to the presence of friends. We often say opposites attract, and that does apply to friends too I suppose, Yet, I see friendship as born of affinities more than differences. The ties that bind are shared perspectives or traits, and they are cemented by common experiences. Men will sometimes consider marriage when they find a relationship where the woman seems much superior to them, and somehow still like them, somehow seem interested. (the male ego is a fragile thing indeed.) We use sports metaphors, such as “she’s out of my league” or my favorite, “you really outkicked the coverage.” At times, friendship breaks the boundaries of gender, class, career and grow in time. think of the biblical friendship of David and Jonathan. We get a bit of a vicarious thrill when we are friends with someone we consider superior. I am grateful that we don;t feel superior to our friends, even when society would note the social divisions that usually prevent relationships. friendship, in the end, bespeaks equality, an equality that blurs and bends the boundaries we struggle to defend. As graduations approach, I go back to the passage read at our graduation from seminary. We read from John 15: 15 where Jesus says that he calls them disciples, students, no longer, but friends. It continues to astonish me. The Incarnate One calls us friends. Maybe more astounding, Jesus calls me, me, a friend. the very thought washes over me in a vicarious wave of respect. rodney Dangerfield was such a longstanding hit, because, as Jack Benny told him, he had struck a universal chord. At one time or another, everyone feels unrecognized and disrespected. The hole in the soul is answered in Jesus, who wishes to befriend us. How do you imagine we can reciprocate that offer of friendship. When have you lived out the hymn, What a Friend we Have in Jesus? Arnold Gasow said that “ a friend never gets in your way unless you’re going down.” that sense of loyalty and commitment is at its heart. Camus noted that he may not be willing to follow ro to lead, so he pleaded that one “walk beside him and be his friend.” the later 20th century philosopher, Bruce Springsteen sings “I’ll wait for you/should I fall behind, wait for me.” Every relationship requires nurture and care. I have always disliked the common phrase that they need work, as it makes a relationship sound like a work project, or heaven forfend, a “honey-do list.” Some friendships live with the Christmas card and e-mail. Others require a call, and some require presence, a meeting.Use this friendship day to go over friendships. Who were your first friends? As Emerson noted, how has “the choir of friends over time periods” changed? Have you held on to some friendships throughout life? Do you regret losing some friendships. How have you coped with the death of friends? Recall, say five, friendship highlight reels. What puts your friendships to the acid test? Where and when have you been grateful for the presence and acts of friends?

Devotions Week of May 6

May 6-Ps.22 served as a template for some of the Passion events. Like most laments, it ends in hope. V.26 looks to a day when the poor shall be satisfied. We continue to live in its promise that posterity will proclaim deliverance to generations yet unborn (31). V. 39 makes this passage a good reading for Eastertide. Monday-Memory is unstable. It is not like a videotape but more like an image being photoshopped where ti can be altered by the passage of time and experience.The good news is that we cna adjust our memory to focus less on the pain and more on good parts. I love the idea in process theology that our lives are kept intact within the memory of God. Tuesday- A new Groff piece mentioned that we have a choice when faced with a hurtful moment. We can keep it alive with bitterness or we can transform it by making it a spur to action.I was just reading about a young girl who started an organization against bullying. When have you let bitterness fester in your soul? How do you handle grudges? When have you used a hurt to help yourself or others as motivation? Wednesday-Air travel is wonderful, as I do not like to drive long distances, but it has lost its glamor. With the long wait times and crowded planes, it feels like the name of one of the companies, an air bus. As made in the image and likeness of God, we deserve more respect than being herded about like cattle. When have you received or felt properly respected and recognized? When have you been hurt by lack of recognition? Recall that God does note and recognize all that you do. Thursday-An acquaintance of mine put out on facebook that he was getting sick after workouts. I could not believe the flood of advice that poured in, but no one, no one told him to go to the doctor. People were put out with me when I gave that as my response. the internet has many values, but it has deluded us into becoming amateur physicians. Part of humility is realizing our own limitations in knowledge, emotional range, or advice. Friday-forgiveness is a fundamental christian virtue and practice. I was so pleased hwo well the confirmation students discussed it on Sunday. I just witnessed the pain of being unable or unwilling to forgive in the family members of a difficult person who died. Their grief was as much about being unreconciled to their faults and expectations as to the death itself. Learn to let go of resentments and bitterness. Learn to let og of the desire for revenge. Learn to “live and let live.” Saturday-Lately, some interest in Protestant circles is growing around the biblical concept of theosis/divinization, where we will become like Christ.When do you think we will follow peter’s notion of becoming partakers in the divine nature? Don’t rush to say heaven. Is it not a continuation of sanctification, of growing more holy, in the here and now? Where have you sensed Christ in us? Where have you sensed a move toward holiness in your own life?

sermon notes 5/6 I John 4:7-21, John 15:1-8

May 6 John 15:1-8, I John 4:7-21 This is one of those Sundays when we have such an array of passages that I scarcely knew where to start. At this point, I want to work with the natural image of the vine and connect it to the great evocation of love in I John. We were assigned the vine passage to introduce our planning session for the new organizational structure of presbytery for the 21st Century. Some stressed Christ of course, but others went from there to stress the relationships, the connections made with this image all the way through. This organic image speaks of an inter-relationship, of the vine and branches. It also indicates that to think we can go off on our own, depend on our own resources, is the kiss of death. Unconnected to the vine, we wither and perish. Whenever I get hung up on working through my image of God, when I deal with my underlying suspicion of God’s disappointment and frustration with me, I go back to this passage and its signal statement: God is love. You take some theology classes in seminary and can get so sophisticated that this three word sentence can get lost, but it is the very heart of our conception of God in Christ.Again, I heard some folks, mostly men, again criticize the mainline churches for emphasizing love. this time it was on two grounds: people need fear to be motivated and that love was too weak a word to speak of God.So, I urge us all to converse with this section of I John. Putting the passages together, we find God in the relationships, in the connections of love. What feeds the church is the life of Christ flowing through all of us together. God is a gardener here. I have heard it said that a good marriage often occurs when a gardener marries a garden. the love of God lives in the core of a marriage.Our vision is obscured with that signal fact. Young marriage is fueled by hormone and attraction, middle age love by children and grandchildren perhaps, so perhaps it becomes most evident in a long term marriage, where the couple can finish each other’s sentences and speak in a sort of code, where they know each other’s habits and preferences, and where they take care of each other and look past the limitations with an easy acceptance. After all, many Presbyterian weddings begin with the words that those who abide in love abide in God and god abides in them.We find the living god in our relationships. Greg told me a great story a while back. He and Carol operated a program to work with a bell choir, and they developed a color coded system to help with the cuing of ringing the bell with the notes. A woman came up and said that her deaf child had never been in a group before and it was a good experience. that little girl grew up to get a doctorate and part of her research agenda is developing and charting the impact of group activities for various disable groups of folks. We touch a life and it ripples out into the world in ways we could not imagine.(data mining??) To abide can mean to dwell to live in, to remain with. It has such a sense of mutuality of the vine and the branches. I like it as it is a living image, not a mechanical one, or one that can slip easily into hierarchy of who is on the bottom and who is on top. while Jesus is ascended, he remains through the spirit, the paraclete. God is present in the love we share together and in the church.

I John 4:7-21 notes

1) God is love is the lynchpin of my image of God. When I get confused or uncertain, I return to this.The primary evidence is the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. 2) God's love is evident among us, what NRSV translates as for us. In other words, yes Jesus loves me, but Jesus loves us. 3) In the new textweek, Dr. Peterson is careful to say God is love but love does not equal God. Fair enough, but I would urge the notion that love does indeed emerge from the character and nature of God.Elsewhere this passage has God's love being completed, find its goal/end/telos in our mutual love. 4) God abides/ dwells in/remains in our love. Stop for a bit and reflect on this extraordinary statement. 5) Perfect love casts our fear. Again, I think we are in umplumbed depths here.What is that perfect love? How does love cast out fear/ How does fear interfere with love? I think Shirley Mac lane said that fear keeps a stranger form becoming a friend.Notice the point about fear and punishment. Why does the church use fear then? 6) We encounter atoning sacrifice/propitiation again. What elements of god would require propitiation by the One Sent? 7) Notice the emphasis on the Sprint in this section. 8) What do you make of placing God's love first?

Aril 29 devotions

April 29 Sunday-I’d like to go back to last week’s Psalm 4. I always note its words, be angry but do not sin. Notice it is in the imperative mood. Anger is expected as part of our emotional makeup. Anger is a vital emotion, but how we manage it becomes the issue. Anger leads to harsh words and actions that can diminish, even kill, a relationship. Uncontrolled anger or anger channeled into evil action is a root of all sorts of trouble. How have you learned to control anger while at the same time admitting its presence? Monday-I am scheduled to be finished with radiation treatment by now. We live a ritually impoverished life in our time, so I am going to work on a ritual for marking the end of my radiation therapy. At this point I plan to read some Scripture on healing and hope and perhaps a good Celtic blessing. I plan on an action of release and relief and may burn my appointment schedule. Have you created some rituals? What are areas in your life that seem to cry out for a ritual experience? Tuesday-May Day, Law Day, Holocaust memorial, International Workers Day all fall on this date. I’ll pick up law Day, not as popular as it once was, especially in the schools. In religious terms, it is a good reminder that god is a god of order. God is impartial, Scripture tells us. Justice is a primary political virtue, where all are treated with equity and fairness, apart from personal biases of the authorities. It is for good reason Luther called the legal system the left hand of God and Calvin praised public service as the most noble of callings. Wednesday-I am going back to Princeton for the first time in a long time for a conference on Romans. Already I get to say hi to some old teachers. So, memories come flooding back. What place from your past have you visited lately? How did it confirm and violate your memories? do you have osme religious memories that you prize? Do you find you tend to go back for those or are they of more recent vintage? Thursday-National Day of Prayer-Part of me resists this day, as I figure every day is a day of prayer and what purpose does it serve to declare a day. Presidents have often proclaimed days of prayer, but Pres.Truman signed a law calling for an annual day and Pres.Reagan signed a proclamation for the first Thursday in May. Friday-Friendship Day is an event of Church Women United to emphasize creative and healing activities. Friendship is worthy of a special day. Who were your most meaningful friends of childhood? How about your youth? Now? How are friendships similar and different from family relationships? Both seem to me to be about acceptance. I am always struck by the contention of Jeuss in John that he would no longer speak of disciples but friends. Imagine. Jesus is calling us to an relationship of relative equality in friendship. Saturday Since I am going to be working on Romans, let’s look at ch. 7:14-25 where Paul takes aim at a notion most Americans hold dear, free will. He sees us not as free actors but in bondage to forces beyond our power of choice, beyond our power to resist. As Luther said, the so called free will is in bondage to powerful forces. It continues to be true that the darkest region on this planet, the least mapped out, is the interior of the human being.