On Jocelyn's graduation

Our youngest daughter, Jocelyn, was graduated by Indiana University last weekend in history of art and communications. Her father took it much harder than he anticipated. Part of it is her future in an uncertain economy, part is her introverted nature, part is that she is our youngest, and our lives have definitely turned a corner last weekend.I feared for her as she entered college. Now as I breathe more easily, I continue to fear for her future.Some of that fear comes from the experience of age and in wondering if she is too sweet and kind for a world that is often cold and callous.

Graduation comes from Latin and has the sense of taking a step.In our country, ti seems to me to be a bi step. the difference between an American high school graduate and college graduate is stunning in its scope and depth.Commencement obviously has the sense of a start, a beginning from French but did not come into vogue for graduation until the mid 19th century.It’s a nice ter, as saying goodbye to being an undergraduate is saying hello to adulthood in its movement toward maturity.

IU is a huge school, so it took over one half hour to march the graduates to their stations. Her extended interim period before adulthood closes.The most childlike part came at the start. A sea of phone appeared. Students directed their families where to try to spot them and know ts of hands would start to wave all over the basketball stadium.

I was struck by the sheer ritual for the ceremony: the banners, the regalia, the mortarboard hat my a daughter dismissed, the carefully chosen words. In its way, the university s the seat of the church of reason and study, so we mark such a chapter change in so many lives with ritual. One of the many mistakes of my generation was its dismissal of ritual in favor of an imagined authenticity. What has since transpired is seat fo the pants rituals that fail at their social task. Why reinvent the wheel when a ritual provides a wa for strangers to share the iprot of an event?

The President of ireland spoke as an alum of the university. he is also a poet, so was quite arresting in his presentation. His insistence that education means being able to question assumptions struck me as invaluable.

Her liturgical rule has always been short isgood. sre enough, her only complain was that the opening prayer was a bit long for her taste. The prayer had a fine thought about seekign wisdom rather than the mere accumulation of knowledge.

I did not have as many flashbacks to her childhood, as I did for her sister who was sitting next ot me. I am so proud that she has worked through some significant dyslexia over the years. That may have been one reason she  was not as involved in reading aw we would have preferred. For a while, she liked maps,and then I am so grateful to Agatha Christie books for getting her involved in reading. It is such an experience going to an art museum with her as it is like having your own perosnal docent adding material to the tour.In media, both she and her sister are such literate and viewers and consumers of mass media.

I now wave goodbye to being a parent of a dependent person. Now I am the parent of adults. Perhaps I need a graduation ceremony too. I commence the struggle in how to treat offspringas adults themselves.