Sept 30 column for the Telegraph

I wish to use this space to share some learnings about being ill. I had surgery last week to remove my cancerous prostate. As a minister, I have been in far too many hospital rooms and corridors and waiting rooms. Of course, it is a far different experience to be in the bed instead of alongside it. The following are some of my reactions to the absurdity of the experience and may not fit your experience.

First, forewarned is forearmed. I really appreciate getting a sense of what is in store for me. Two procedures come to mind. The procedure for taking biopsies requires sedation in my view, but maybe good reasons for not doing so exist. Anyway, I was prepared for discomfort but no one warned me about a lidocaine shot that felt like lightning coursing through the trunk of my body. Second, I was told that I would need some simple pictures for the removal of my catheter. Fine, but not until the moment of the second picture was I informed that my bladder would have to be filled with special fluid. I knew I was in trouble when the technician required help to hoist the enormous bag on to the IV tree. Next, I was expecting to hear the beeps of a forklift.

Second, we need to come to grips with how the medical profession uses language. After being fed with fluid as if I were a balloon about to pop, the physician asked if I were comfortable. No, I replied, with a tone indicating that he was out of his mind, but at least the technician warned me about this. If I follow their stoic logic correctly, downplaying pain may help with anxiety. I have a good imagination, but my thoughts do not stand up to the reality of the techniques we have devised. I hesitate to think what the CIA could come up with “enhanced interrogation techniques” if they consulted with the medical professions techniques and easy use of words such as discomfort. I may have mentioned this before, but I would call “short-term inconveniences” oh, something like two weeks, but not 2 years up to one’s whole life long.

Third, health problems have you enter aisles of the drug store never before encountered. In my local drug store, incontinence “aids” are in the same aisle as family planning materials, coincidence? When you ask for help, why does a spotlight then shine down on you and your request get broadcast? Then you furtively slip your materials on the counter, and the most embarrassing items require a price check, again broadcast though the store. At least, the big L for loser T-shirt that came down from the ceiling fits me well.

Fourth, for me spiritual practices were essential. I am so grateful that God has seen fit to grant me real peace and perspective on my condition. My prayers have been both of gratitude but also a running commentary on what has been going on. For someone who prays for many, many people, it is such a privilege to hear that one is the recipient of being prayed for. The church is often at its best with offers of help. In my case, it has been the offer and making of soup and easy to eat dishes and maybe more important, the number of folks who have taken up their time and interrupted their schedules to give me rides for appointments. Not only are nurses and doctors, technicians and inventors part of the continuing mission of the healing work of Christ, all of those individual acts of kindness create not only an environment for healing but its material reality. Healing, after is wholeness of body, mind, and soul.