Anger tempts us from within and without. it almost seems a conspiracy abroad to have things happen to annoy us. In public talk radio runs and anger and fuels it too. Ephesians cautions us about anger. Our reading about Absalom speaks of anger's distortions that threatened a family and a kingdom.

 

Anyone who says that society is going downhill ignores the Biblical witness.David's son raped Absalom's sister. Caught between a father's pity and a king's justice, David did not act of of righteous anger. In his anger, Absalom plotted revenge. When Absalom murdered Amnon, David merely exiled him for a time. Now Absalom plotted to take away the throne from David; perhaps he now perceived him as weak, or maybe his anger remained, and its orbit needed to expand.

 

Anger must be controlled. The social psychology experiments are noteworthy here. It does harm us to deny that we are angry. Always holding in anger and refusing to admit its presence is not healthy. It can eat us up inside, or slowly poison a good relationship, or explode in some irrational fit of rage.On the other hand, it is not entirely true that we must give full vent to our anger every time. Some things may be worth a tantrum; others are not. Giving full vent to rage often only intensifies it and prolongs it. The old nostrum about counting to ten before you speak or act is still sound.

 

Yes, we can be angry. No we should not act against another in anger. Instead, we should regard anger as a symptom that needs to be addressed, not ignored or papered over. Do not let the sun go down on anger is still good advice. Unresolved anger can endanger a relationship. Continually doing things that create anger can endanger a relationship. Ignoring the anger of another is not an act of loving respect. If anger persists, it festers and can attack even the stronghold of love. I am not saying that it is easy. It is a process of a lifetime. I think of George Washington making a commitment to control his volcanic temper that lasted a lifetime. Ephesians, with its baptismal language of stripping off the old self and putting on a new cloak of virtues, can sound that way. Perhaps it is better to think of renewing our baptism every day, where we try to strip off our vices and put on a new uniform of virtues day after day.

 

Anger does not last forever with someone we love. Even after David has faced down the rebellion of his son, his foremost concern is his welfare, not even the welfare of his kingdom. Maybe David is utterly confident of victory, but his role of father and king has slipped into a concerned father. Now their joint inability to deal with conflict and anger has led to the death of his son. This time, he utters no beautiful elegy, but the choked words of a father, O Absalom, Absalom, my son, my son.Would that I died instead of you, my son, my son. I don't know if David's grief turned angry. I don't know if his grief turned toward anger against god, as so many losses do.

 

I can never read this passage and not consider divine grief. I wonder if the words of David were echoed by God when Jesus was at Calvary. Along that line, I wonder if God does not cry out in righteous anger at what we continually insist on doing to each other, the lives wasted because of unresolved anger or the institutional violence we call war. When anger turns into a weapon of words or fist, we are in dangerous territory. No matter our age, we mature into controlling our anger.