Ministers see so many people who are ill. We are dangerous on health issues, because we see so much illness, and we start to think we know something about it. Other than being on medicine for high blood pressure and cholesterol, my health has been pretty good: no hospital stays, no surgeries. Yesterday, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

First, gentlemen, please keep up your blood work. My manual prostate exams have always been good. (Not the process, the result). My PSA number is well below the threshold of concern. The number has been rising and my doctor had me promise to do more blood work before I moved to Alton. So, after going through the delightful biopsy procedure, akin to being violated by an alien probe, the results came back: 4 of the 12 samples have cancer cells.

Second, I am struck by how we often take news in character. I think I take after my mother who took big things well but made mountains out of molehills. Our older daughter marries next spring. She knew I would put off her requisite dance lessons for the father-daughter dance. She ordered me to take them this summer, with the kind phrase,: “Dad, you’ll do the least damage to the waltz.” I had much more anxiety over my fourth dance lesson than I did getting the results of the biopsies. (Of course, that could also be that the dance instructor is stunningly attractive).

I would like to think that I took the news with relative calm, so far, because it is part of God’s healing touch. I see God’s hand in daily life. I see God working together with the doctors, nurses, technicians, and pathologists, who have brought me to this point. Healing is a shared endeavor in god’s world. I do not see how a god who punishes with illness fits the God of Jesus Christ. Instead, I see that the same wisdom, same incarnate :logic” of God in Jesus Christ (John 1:14) also spills out into and for all of us, body, mind, heart and soul. In other words, the truth of science reveals truths about God’s creation, including its “fallen” aspects such as cancer.

I am grateful that I am somewhat serene about the news, as it allows my mind to gain a better sense of options and outcomes. The more upset we get, the harder it is for us to weigh options and make decisions, when we are working through a storm of emotions. I consider it nothing less than a gift from above, so that my energies can focus on healing and making good decisions toward that end.

Already, I see a change in perspective starting to percolate. Faced with the reality of vulnerability to illness, I may well tend to wish some issues that could seem to warrant some anxiety fade off into the distance. I’m going to need to be careful in not snapping at people who are being deliberately obstinate, cruel, or constantly aggrieved, as my patience will be tested more personally than usual. I’m going have to be careful that this walk in the outskirts of the valley of the shadow won't foreshorten my perspective on the future and how difficult it is to shape it with others. It reinforces my long-tome devotion to our daughters, even as they need distance as they are in the midst of forming their own lives and identities.

All in all, it intensifies my sense that if we accept and cherish life as a gift, then our expectations and desires fall into place more easily. Yes, it is a fragile gift, but a gift nonetheless.The prospect of heaven does not change my desire to hold on to this precious gift for as long as possible.

Sunday-We read Romans 11 sections today, the 14th. V. 29 “God’s gifts and call are irrevocable.” I love the strength of that affirmation. God makes promises that are honored. God is reliable. God will not call back what god has given. too often, we get anxious about a more tricky god who acts more like a dishonest official than the creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer of all. Put differently, place some confidence in your baptism, where God chose you to be part of the whole household of God.

Monday- Kind deeds seem to come more easily to many of us than kind words. Maybe we fear that we are sounding false or that we could give someone a swelled ego. Kind words can stick with us, sometimes over a long period of years. We all have the insistent critic in the back of our minds, so it is good to hear external compliments on occasion.

Tuesday -Upset minds often make poor decisions. Upset minds do not take in information very well. Upset minds are prone to hearing things inaccurately and then jumping to conclusions. Rash decisions are often the product of being upset and wanting to get something over, or maybe just because action feels better than feeling powerless. Trying to establish a cam center within and also promoting that within groups will lead to more considered judgment. That does not mean we are not fallible, but it does put the odds for a good decision more in our favor.

Wednesday-”The most overlooked feature of humility is the quiet acceptance of our strengths” writes Ronald Wells. Humility is not being a doormat, not someone who denies that God gives gifts as well as limitations in our personal storehouse of traits. It is not arrogance or false pride or egotism to realize that one has some virtues, abilities or strengths. To let them lie fallow out fo fear of seeming prideful would be more of a sin, I would think. Learn to be able to take a compliment. Try to listen if God’s voice is trying to get a compliment through to you.

Thursday -serenity is a virtue that I prize, probably because I sense it so rarely. i even like the sound of it. I like that a tennis player is named Serena. Spiritually serenity strikes me as being able to rest in God. it strikes me as borne by a confidence in Providence, in god’s constant care. having a sense that God has a hand int he affairs of the world removes a sense of duty and utter responsibility from our shoulders.

Friday- Adam Nicholson wondered if the King James version of tee Bible is so good because so many of the people behind were not, especially King James himself. some were ambitious, always looking for clerical advancement.God can work through imperfect people, all of us. God can work through groups, as through the 6 committees of the Company of translators. So often, what the KJV did was take the good and make it better.

Saturday-Active spirituality applies to many of us who may well admire spiritual contemplatives but for some reason are unable to attain their spiritual level in meditative postures. It may include the physical production of an act of charity, like the Saturday Cafe. It could inquire about questions being raised while reading a Scripture passage. It can be the promotion of certain disciplines to build up a perceived strength or a weakness inside our souls.

August 14 Mt. 15:21-28, Gen. 45:1-15 (Communion)
We are in the maelstrom of ethnic prejudice, religious differences, gender bias and address. Outsider rude remark where the tables get turned on Jesus by a foreign woman. In this instance Jesus is taught the boundaries of his mission are wide indeed. This may well set up the Great Commission at the end of the gospel. Jesus is in foreign territory. he is dealing with a woman, in public, but she talks like an early Christian, with the titles she uses for Jesus. She may be well off, as her child is on a couch, real furniture, not a pallet. She is a mixture of bold and submissive, someone perhaps used to dealing with power, as the brothers in the Joseph story are not. Members of our presbytery hosted Peruvians here, and we had two gatherings in Alton. A friend of mine, Jennifer Loeb in Indianapolis wonders if Jesus was  tempted with compassion fatigue perhaps? This verbal encounter continues the tradition of wrestling with God.this woman is not going to let go until she does her best to try to save her daughter with the fierce determination that perhaps only god knows as well as a mother.

A rude remark is one thing, but a life upturned is another. Joseph's brothers quake in fear for the retribution, the revenge that is coming their way. The brother Joseph has his dreams fulfilled, and the one sold into slavery now is a ruler in Egypt. They are sure that Joseph will retaliate. Instead he offers them forgiveness. At the end of the book he offers it again, because they fear that only their father's presence is staying his hand against them. Look at what the forgiveness of Joseph is not. Is it forgive and forget. No, in his charade with them, he again shows them the depths of betrayal and the import of being responsible for each other. He has looked for change in their attitude and behavior and has seen it. Is it minimizing the hurt? No, again, they have a sense of the depth of their crime. they do not minimize the wrong done. They do not say that time has healed the wound. Forgiveness is not easy for either party. Both sides need to get a sense of the depth of the offense.

 

Joseph takes after his Uncle Esau and discovers the capacity to forgive in himself. He is able to let go, release the hurt. He did not let the betrayal define him. He was not going to be the eternal victim, forever hurt. On the other hand, he does not retaliate in kind. Second, he does see some change in them. Reconciliation has not been complete. They will fear for their safety after the protective wing of their father is gone. They are brothers again. Joseph/Increase has moved from hostility to success and family bonds. In large part he has done so by being able to see the hand of god working even through human evil.

Communion is a sacrament of reconciliation. We take in the forgiving nature of Jesus Christ in to our bloodstream, so that it feeds our ability to forgive and to reconcile. To receive Communion we come with hands open, not clench, not closed into a tight fist. This is a meal served family style,for we are brothers ans sisters here. Joseph saw god's hand in his life. "you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good." Here God takes the evil of the death of Jesus and works it toward good. this is one place where the barriers that separate and divide are broken all the way down.

August 7 Gen. 37:1-4, 12-28, Mt. 14:22-33
Walking on the water is to me a sign of walking over the powers of death and destruction of chaos and confusion.Impetuous Peter has a classic response. the people waiting on the other side of the lake are in deep water too.  don;t be afraid. We have these odd church terms for architectural features such as the nave of the church. It comes the same root as navigate, referring to a boat. The church was long pictured to be a little ship. Sometimes it gets storm-tossed. Stepping out of the boat is a real issue for Peter and for us. Lord, save me. Excellent prayer. In part, the wood above our heads is to give us the sense of being in the hold of a ship.

Confusion continues to reign in the extended house of Abraham now to the great-grandchildren. Favoritism continues as the first son of the favored wife is now the favorite.The favorite son of Rachel now has a favorite son.  Jealousy and envy now become new emblems of the household.They are unable to speak peaceably, or speak a word of peace and well-being, or even say hello in a civil tone.Recall that the narrator gives extra definition to the names of the brothers.  I need to emphasize a translation issue. It is likely that Joseph did not tattle or issue a report against the brothers; it is more likely that they continue to bad mouth Joseph, as that is the way it reads in other OT accounts. I won;t hazard a guess as to why Joseph tells his dreams, he clearly has not learned ot interpret them, yet. Jacob only rebukes him when he interprets it as meaning that he too will fall under the sway of the son. The younger who stole a birthright and blessing does not want the same to apply to him. Notice the story here. One senses a battle for advantage even in the decision to kill Joseph, as they play a game of then reporting to the father. This is a family that will not learn that playing favorites can be deadly. This family will not learn to speak with each other in order to try to resolve an issue. Jacob saw forgiveness in his brother that he called the face of God, but the lesson has not been transmitted into this blended family of four different wives. Now recall Israel will be enslaved in Egypt in the very next book of the bile. Here the patriarchs plot to put one of their own into slavery and sell their own brother to relatives who themselves descended from the Egyptian slave girl Hagar who had a child by Abraham. They cannot even use the word brother any longer.They see thee dreamer, with that robe, and they lose all perspective. that TV show Big Love has nothing on the book of Genesis. This is 10 against 1. It may reflect on the troubles holding the tribes of Israel together. it could be that this story indicates that we bring family issues on to the public stage.

 

In this house, in the nave of the ship of faith, God does not play favorites.God continues to pay real regard to the dreamers. It used to be said that God protects widows and drunkards. maybe God watches out for the impetuous ones such as Peter who step out of the boat. Here in the security of being in the embrace of God, we can dare step out of the boat, knowing that we can be saved when we need it, and return to its security to do our work together.

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Gen. 45 This is about forgiveness, surely. My favorite book on forgiveness is still David Augsburger- Caring Enough to Forgive/Caring Enough Not to Forgive. Gregory Jones of duke has Embodying Forgiveness.  n approach from a different angle is  one by    Is Human Forgiveness Possible?
1) I just realized that Joseph is as tricky as Laban and Jacob. His teaching tricks and ploys are worthy of them both.We are also back to the old family game of blindness, as he keeps them in the dark about his identity.
2) What meanings can we assign to his loud, loud weeping?
3) This great cry of forgiveness is repeated in ch. 50. it is the great answer to the dolts who insist on drawing a sharp line between OT and NT ethics.
4) Joseph would have been a good Calvinist- look at his view of providence in v. 8
5) Joseph gives them garments, maybe many colored cloaks. Notice his warning in v. 24.
6) One could do a powerful dramatic sermon on Jacob hearing the news about Joseph. Janzen in Abraham p.176 links it to the reaction of Easter.

7) Joseph does not forget. He seeks change in the brothers and sees it. The whole issue with Benjamin is to see if they have experienced moral growth. Notice the willingness to represent the other brothers for protection.

First Cut
Pride and Humility from thoughtful Christian series on deadly sins and saving virtues

1) Augustine saw this as the most dangerous of the deadly sins. Do you? Why or why not?

2) The author says pride develops from undeveloped self-esteem. How would that work?

3)  Tell more about Merton's notion of the false self.

4) It sounds  as if the author sees pride as a form of narcissism, no? See Capps, The Depleted Self.

5) How does the pharisee and publican story relate to these themes?

6) How is pride related to judging others?

7) Define humility. The turn to spiritual masters is a danger here. Humility shares a root with human and humus, of the soil, grounded rooted here.

8) How is the incarnation an act of divine humility then?

9)Do you agree that we "climb to heaven by lowering ourselves?"

10) In terms of the two themes, discuss the great African-American maxim that "God does not make junk."

11) Capps places pride in adolescence. The crisis is identity v. role confusion. Obviously he sees the development of a maturing self as affected by the trouble of pride. (Remember he places lust with young adulthood.) Fidelity is the crucial virtue being developed at this stage.

In our morning class, we have been using Thoughtful Christian materials on the traditional seven deadly sins. OK, if you did not go to Catholic school and have them committed to memory they are: gluttony, greed, sloth, lust, anger, envy, and  pride. We are using them as convenient diagnostic devices to examine how sin has a way of infecting our lives. They are certainly convenient categories to examine one's own life and one's own spiritual path and progress. this is a difficult task when advertising feeds on envy as its driving force in its perpetual push toward consuming new goods.
 
Since we just worked with it, let's look at envy. Envy is all about things or qualities  possessed by another. Jealousy is more about people, to me. Jealousy seems to be more about fear of losing what one has, instead of being resentful of what others have. Envy resents what others possess (it should be mine), but misses one's own possessions and achievements as worthy of celebration.

I must admit that I am interested in what drives the seven deadly sins, what are the engines behind them. My old pastoral care teacher, Donald Capps, linked them to the different stages of life posited by the psychologist Erik Erikson. He places envy's origin with the school age issues of industry v. inferiority. School is where we learn the value of work and effort. It is also the place where we see that work alone is not the answer for some deficiencies. We see that there are better-looking, smarter, faster, friendlier people out there. Admiration of those traits can mutate into envy.

Envy seems to be directed at particular things, people or traits, rather than the open-ended thirst for more that is greed. It is destructive to the soul in a variety of ways. Envy wants the things possessed by someone else to be taken from them. Why? They don't deserve it; they should not have it, but I, I, should. Envy wants to drag others down to our level of felt deficiency. So, envy keeps us from rejoicing with others, but it does allow us to rejoice in a downfall, instead of feeling compassion. I distinguish it from jealousy in that I tend to associate jealousy with people more than things. Jealousy seems to me to be about the fear of losing something or someone in one;'s orbit, but envy looks outside one's orbit.

Maybe the best literary view of the effects of envy is Gollum in The Lord of the Rings series. Envy has deformed him from the inside out, so that he has become twisted and torn asunder.
Biblically, look at Saul and David. Saul was both envious and jealous of David, no? Were the religious leaders envious of Jesus? Were not the brothers envious of Joseph's coat? In these cases, envy ends in plotting the murder of those whom envy spies.

Capps sees envy being  countered by a sense of competence and the self-esteem bolstered by competence in the face of seeing others with greater skills. Security in one's being and skills closes the yawning hole that is envy. Traditionally, acts of love and kindness were proffered as the antidotes to envy. Instead of the closed fist of taking, we open the hand in giving. A gift honors the recipient instead of resenting them. If we can add to what they have, the resentment can fade. Acting generous starts to create generous feelings. The mutual respect of the gift then affects the way we look at others and how we view ourselves. The gnawing coveting fades into appreciation and admiration.We then start to realize that we are accepted by God the giver of all good gifts, including our very selves. We start to accept that we are good enough, good enough to give and receive love.